


The Note

by Warlock_Writer



Series: Goodbye Robert Sugden [3]
Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt, Hurt, Hurt No Comfort, M/M, Sad, Suicide, Suicide Notes, robron - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-16
Updated: 2020-06-10
Packaged: 2020-09-02 08:41:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,102
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20273122
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Warlock_Writer/pseuds/Warlock_Writer
Summary: Robert commits suicide and leaves a note behind.(The second chapter is Aaron's reaction to finding the note).





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> WARNING- this fic centres around suicide, so don't read if this is a triggering topic for you.

Aaron,

I hate that I have to hurt you like this, but it's for the best; I realise now that everyone will be better of without me. I messed everything up and bought everyone nothing but pain and grief. Vic hates me, Diane can't stand to be around me and I keep hurting you. You deserve so, so much better than me Aaron. I just screw up all the time- maybe messed up forever wasn't right for us, and I guess you were wrong and my dad was right, I am a disappointment. 

I never did deserve your love, I was kidding myself thinking that I should have you. I loved you more than I ever thought possible to love someone, but its not enough. You deserve someone that can make you truly happy, and not keep hurting you. I can't give you what you deserve Aaron.

Everything's a mess and I can't do it anymore. Everything is too much, just eating away at me. I've tried so hard to be better for you and to carry on, but it's too much. I can't live like this anymore. It was you Aaron, always you, that kept me going- but it's not fair to keep you so miserable all the time. It's better for you and everyone else if I'm gone. 

I want you to be happy so please move on, find someone who can give you the life you deserve, the life I could never give you. I can't make you happy Aaron, not the way you truly deserve; I should never have thought I could have because it would have saved you so much hurt. I hate myself for what I've put you through, but not anymore, it's over now.

I love you Aaron, please remember that.

-Robert Sugden Dingle.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaron finds the note.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW- suicide
> 
> The sequel no-one wanted.

Aaron got back home and instinctively called out if anyone was home, the silence indicated he was alone for a while. He headed to the kitchen to get a drink when he noticed a note addressed to him on the table. He began to feel concern when he noticed it was in Robert’s handwriting. 

“Oh God, Robert.” Aaron chocked out. He bolted up the stairs as fast as he could, phoning for an ambulance on the way as he had no clue if Robert would still be alive or not. He barged into the bedroom and found Robert lying unconscious on the bed surrounded by empty pill packets. He’d taken an overdose. 

“No, Robert. Please be okay, you can’t leave me.” He cried, tears falling fast down his face upon seeing his husband in that state. He checked for a pulse- there was nothing- no life; he was too late. Robert had died alone, thinking that he wasn’t good enough for Aaron, that he was a burden to everyone around him- not knowing just how loved he was, how much Aaron needed him. 

Aaron screamed. A heart-breaking scream as he felt his entire life be ripped away from him. He clutched Robert close to his chest, the last time he would ever hold him, and he sobbed. He felt broken, and unbearably guilty as his life shattered beyond repair. How had he not seen how much Robert was struggling? They were married he should have been able to see Robert needed his help. Maybe if he were a better husband Robert would be alive. These thoughts raced around Aaron’s head as he blamed himself.

He didn’t register when the paramedics rushed into the house and upstairs, too lost in emotion and grief of losing his husband, soulmate, and the love of his life. They had to practically tear Aaron away from Robert as he refused to let go of him, knowing he would never get to hold his husband or see him again. 

“Goodbye Rob. I love you Mr Sugden-Dingle.” Aaron sobbed, placing a tender kiss on Robert’s forehead- the last kiss they would ever share- the paramedics took his body. Aaron walked with the paramedics as they took Robert out of the Mill, out of their home for the final time- he could see a crowd beginning to form but could not bring himself to care- he’d just lost his husband nothing mattered anymore. No-one could really see what was going on. Aaron broke-down after the ambulance pulled away- he didn’t care who could see. He sobbed as he saw Robert being taken away. Chas and Cain ran over to Aaron asking him what was wrong, worry etched on their face. 

“Robert’s dead.” Aaron screamed, overcome with grief. Cain teared up and Chas openly cried, they both hugged Aaron, hoping the comfort would help him. They knew it nothing could help him, but they needed him to know he was there. 

“Come on let’s get you inside.” Said Cain, sniffling lightly. Chas and Cain guided Aaron inside and onto the sofa. 

“What happened love?” Chas asked softly.

“I got in and found a note on the table. He killed himself mum.” Wept Aaron. Chas and Cain couldn’t contain their shock at Aaron’s words. No-one had even noticed he was suffering.   
“How did I not see he was struggling. I’m his husband I should have known he wasn’t okay. If I’d just been better, if I’d paid more attention to him he would still be here. I failed him, it’s all my fault I-I should have seen he was suffering, why didn’t I?.” Aaron said, crying harder, the pain and loss unbearable. 

“Listen to me Aaron, this is not your fault. You loved him and did everything you could for him. Don’t blame yourself for this. There is no-one to blame.” Chas said.

“What am I gonna do without him mum?” Aaron whimpered.

“I don’t know love.” Chas whispered as she and Cain hugged Aaron, comforting him as he sobbed.

Aaron lost part of himself that day, a part of himself that he won’t get back. He loved Robert more than anything, stronger that he ever thought he could love someone. There was no-one else for Aaron- Robert was it for him. He had no idea how he could face the future without Robert, no idea how he can go on and live with the guilt. Robert thought that Aaron would be happy without him and his life would be better, he couldn’t have been more wrong- Robert made Aaron feel complete and made him happier that he ever thought possible. He doesn’t know if he can live without Robert. There would never be anyone else for Aaron because no one could come close to Robert and the love they had.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not gonna lie, I cried whilst writing this.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed reading xxx

**Author's Note:**

> This is super sad, sorry for that. I still cannot get over the fact Ryan is leaving- I'll miss Robert so much. xxx


End file.
